For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
