Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
