Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
