If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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