Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
