I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
