Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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