Pants 0. Shit 1.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
