Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
