i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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