wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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