He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
