Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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