It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
