One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I lost the right to judge tonight
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