your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
