Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
