saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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