Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
