White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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