i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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