I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
