his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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