Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
