My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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