he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
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