Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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