Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
