he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
