Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
