just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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