I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
