Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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