You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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