Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
