If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We have started to decorate penises.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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