last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
