C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
