you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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