So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Drake has all the answers
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
