Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
