Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
