Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Randomize
