1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
