oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
