VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Randomize
