i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
