We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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