if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
