just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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